Ransom Notes

The Top Three U.S. Exports this year are:

1.    English – because Americans do not feel the need or pressure to learn another language and because the internet is the most efficient and magnificent exporting mechanism ever invented.

2.    Financial Chaos – as evidenced by Wall Street’s creative slicing and dicing of mortgage and other debt obligations and the retailing of pieces of these obligations to the faithful in every exotic destination worthy of an investment banker’s second or third home.  Think of these little morsels as tiny neutron bombs sitting in the retirement portfolios of teachers, nurses, widows and orphans throughout the world just waiting for a triggering signal from some black hole ultra-short hedge fund in East Hampton this August.

3.    Trans Fats – which actually represent the future of the American economy.  First, we teach everyone around the world, especially in China and India, to eat our fast food.  Second, we get them hooked on the American fast-paced lifestyle.  Third, we clog their arteries, ruin their digestions and give them diabetes.  And then, we reinvent our biotech industry, discover and deliver individualized molecular and genetic medicine, cure the people we made sick and magically create another chapter in our own industrial revolution.

Think Trans Fats and prepare to invest in the future.